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Dealing with Serious Illness

The following letters were written by a young woman with breast cancer. It demonstrates her courage and humor in the face of serious illness.

Hi everyone,

(This is a long one, but please read it through cause I have a question for you at the end…)

I know it’s been ages since I have written, but no news is good news. I am almost finished with my radiation treatment and I have been busy with work, singing, and living, so I haven’t had tons of time to write.

Radiation has actually been better than I expected. I haven’t had too much fatigue and I didn’t really burn too badly until this week. The burn is just as uncomfortable as a bad sunburn, although it’s in a stranger place than you might be used to. The good news is that I will be finished with it next Friday, and then the healing can begin. Yay! After that I will continue with herceptin treatments every three weeks through September and then take Tamoxifen for 5 years. I have heard some pretty bad side effects stories about Tamoxifen, but I am hoping that it will be like radiation for me, much easier than expected.

The biggest news is…I HAVE HAIR!!!! Yay! And it turns out, I look pretty damn hot with a buzz cut! I had my first haircut last Friday (see pic, please excuse horrible nose…) I do feel the need to wear a lot more makeup than I did when my hair was long, but I think I look pretty good. Everyone is astounded by how fast my hair is growing, but I know it’s the one thing I always did well. I go without wigs or scarves all the time now, and I am loving it! (It’s a good thing my hair has grown in, because I got into a bad habit of taking my wig off and handing it to anyone who complimented me on my hairstyle. The guy in Sephora got really freaked out when I did that.) My nieces tell me my hair feels soft like a kitty cat, and the youngest likes to ‘pet my head’. It’s very cute.

So, the final piece of big news. I am planning my “I kicked cancer’s ass!!” celebration, to be called from now on – Hope’s Hard Ten! (Craps players will get the name – those of you who don’t, ask a craps player.) I am planning to have it in Las Vegas. My awesome friend Vanessa is helping me with the plans – we are going to try to score some good room rates at one of the nice casinos, and there will be some sort of party on Saturday, time and activity TBD, depending on how many people can come and what we can negotiate with the hotel. I just need to get a preliminary headcount, so let me know if you think you can make it. I know it’s a long way to travel, but I would love to celebrate my victory with each and every one of you – I wouldn’t have made it without you!

* * * * * * * * * *

Update - Looks like you are all stuck with me!

Well, I have received my final path report from last Thursday's surgery and I am now officially cancer free! My nodes are clear and the infiltrating part of my tumor measured only .9 cm, which means I am Stage 1. Of course, since I had chemo before surgery, my Stage at diagnosis might have been 2, but the fact that my nodes are all clear means that the cancer never 'left the building' so to speak, so my recent backaches can be attributed both to stress and lack of fitness. (Guess my dad is right sometimes...) In any case, the family has finally shed tears for the right reasons, and we have all enjoyed our best night's sleep since this whole crazy ordeal began.

Surgery itself was a strange experience. I had to have general anesthesia due to my crazy acid reflux cough, and I remember nothing after receiving an IV sedative in the prep room. Probably a good thing since I am told I was singing as they wheeled me down the hall to the operating room. My dad said he couldn't tell exactly what I was singing, but it sounded like a happy song. Oh well, at least I didn't flirt with the doctor like I did under the twilight anesthesia at my endoscopy...(don't laugh, I know some of the things you all have said under sedation...)

Needless to say I feel so much lighter now that I might actually be hovering a few inches off the ground. I am a little sore from surgery, but I am so happy to have made it this far with such a good result, that I don't much mind.

Thanks again to everyone for their prayers and positive thoughts and energy. It clearly worked, and I am lucky to have you all on my side!

I will be in touch again with updates from the radiation front lines. Until then, be well and happy.

* * * * * * * * * *

Holiday greetings from the front lines in the war against cancer. I am happy to report that our offensive appears to be paying off and the enemy is in full retreat.

Ok, enough war metaphors I think. I have many things to report since my last email, so let's get started, shall we?

#1 - Chemo is OVER!!!!!! After 20 treatments I feel positively pickled and at times I was sure that my doctors would kill me before the cancer did, but I survived and I am in the midst of my first chemo free week and feeling pretty good about it. My hair has started to grow back, and I am happy about that, even if I do look like I have male pattern baldness. I wore a pink wig and a tiara to my last treatment and for once enjoyed being stared at. (see attached picture - my apologies for the awful exam gown and lack of glass slippers.) In any case, the chemo has done it's duty because ...

#2 - I had a pre-surgery ultrasound and they couldn't find the tumor!!! It's GONE!!!! Well, probably not gone, but small enough now that it's hard to find on the ultrasound. They will need to use the clip they implanted during my biopsy to know where to do my lumpectomy. I couldn't ask for a better result from what were some of the worst months of my life.

#3 - My surgery is scheduled for next month. I was hoping to have it done before the holidays but there just isn't time. If all goes as planned I should be up and around in a few days and back to the office soon after. (Who would have thought I would look forward to going back to the office...)

#4 - I am now a temporary redhead (see attached). I include this part of the update for those of you who knew me in the 80's and remember how badly I wanted to be Molly Ringwald - thanks to Sondra and Gail for coiffing me! (And yes, my beautiful friends Vanessa and Sue are single...)

#5 - The latest recital by the WHQODJYS (We Haven't Quit Our Day Jobs Yet Singers) was a rousing success! I sang I Am Woman with a classmate who is a 20 year survivor of breast cancer, and it was a pretty powerful experience if I say so myself. Someday I will upload all my performances to a website and share them with all of you. My 3 1/2 year old niece was in the audience and has been putting on shows with her Fisher Price Karaoke set ever since. I guess some kids inherit things from their aunts after all.

So I think that's all for now. I will be back with an update after surgery. Until then, I plan to enjoy the holidays and let 2007 slip quietly away. It hasn't been all bad, but I am ready to let it go. Bring on '08!!

I wish you and yours a happy and HEALTHY new year.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hi all,

I can tell by the number of 'checking in' emails I have been receiving that I am way behind in updating you all on my world and the fight against breast cancer, or as I like to call it, HairWatch '07. Sorry for the delay. I have been a bit mired in treatment and tired of side effects, (and just plain tired), but here is the latest.

I have finished 13 out of 16 total chemo treatments. Hard to believe that I am almost finished. I am getting some side effects, like neuropathy (where my hands and feet go numb and tingle) and the fatigue is really kicking in, but my head is covered in peach fuzz and I am sprouting lots of new eyelashes, so that's pretty cool. After chemo I will have my surgery to remove whatever is left (which feels like just about nothing at this point) and then 6-7 weeks of radiation. Hopefully by March I will be through with the bulk of the heavy treatment and will just have the leftover meds to prevent recurrence.

I know I usually tell a funny story about something weird that happened to me because of treatment or cancer or whatever, but given that it's so near that most American of holidays, I thought maybe I would share some other thoughts.

Now don't get me wrong, cancer and cancer treatment can be a pretty thankless experience at times. It hurts, it's scary, you feel like complete ass from chemo, etc. etc. But (and I know this doesn't sound like crazy, cynical me) I have tons of things to be thankful for right now - some directly related to cancer, and some, just fringe benefit style side effects. Here is a partial list.

I am thankful that my cancer was caught early. I am thankful that my tumor has all the markers so I can have medications like herceptin and tamoxifen to keep me healthy for a long time to come. I am thankful that I live whre I do and have access to the best cancer docs in the world, and that I have a job and health insurance so that I can afford the treatments that will save my life. I am thankful that I am a candidate for a lumpectomy and that my surgeon cares about leaving me a pretty pair - cause let's face it, they are spectacular.

I am thankful for those of you who have gone on this journey before me and are willing to share your experiences (and hats and scarves) with me. I am thankful that I live in the same city as my family, so that I can see them all the time, and I am thankful that I have young, energetic parents who welcomed me back into my old bedroom and took daily care of me for two months during the worst of my treatment, and continue to help me now that I am back on my feet. I am thankful for my sister who doesn't mind spending three hours in traffic just to spend 45 minutes with me. I am thankful for the fact that little kids are honest and open and not afraid of bald people.

And finally, I am mostly thankful for having the opportunity to truly know who my friends are, and how many of you there are. It's very easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are ill, and I admit to more of my share of self-pity than I should be allowed, but even on my worst days the little voice in my head won't let me forget how many of you are out there, wishing me well, praying for my health and willing to help me in whatever way I need. And that is the most comforting feeling in the world.

I hope that you all have just as many things to be thankful for.

 


 

Life Lessons

I don’t know what point in my life I started hating my mother and hating myself for ever hating my father. I felt so bad for my mother, always struggling to pay bills, and I hated my father for not paying her the child support that I thought she deserved. The thing is I was too young to realize the truth, which my father did pay child support, my mother didn’t work hard, and every bad thing my mother said about my father was true about her.

I was brainwashed from the day my parents were divorced. I lived with my mom from age 5 to age 18 when she kicked me out for realizing what a bad person she was. Every day my mother would come home from work, and swear at me for not doing my homework whether I did or not. Stupid of me but I thought if I’m going to get in trouble whether I do or not why do it all? I would be grounded and sent to my room every night while my mother watched TV and drank. She told me what a bad person I was and I was growing up to be just like my father. And still I thought she cared about me and I empathized for her. I was taught that she was just some poor woman that had to raise two kids with no money in a shoebox size apartment, while her ex husband lives in New Jersey with his new wife. I was taught to think my dad was a shallow, stubborn liar with no morals.

It’s a really bad situation when a mother would use their own children as leverage to get back at her ex husband. She didn’t realize that she ruined a relationship between a father and both of his children. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about my dad crying over the daughter that he thinks doesn’t love him.
My father has been nothing but nice to me. He lived 800 miles away but he was there for me more than my mother ever was. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. All along I thought my dad was brainwashing me because my mother told me he was. I believed all the bad things my mother said about him, it kills me everyday that I thought that for a second. If there were anyone in my life that I could depend on or grow up to be like it would be my dad.

I was told living with him would be hell, because my mom hated him. If I could go back I would have moved, and not a day goes by that I don’t think what I could’ve been with his guidance. My mother led me down the wrong path and by the time I learned I was going the wrong way it was too late to turn around.

I was manipulated and I will never be able to forgive my mother for years of torture, torture I wouldn’t feel until the day I realize she ruined my childhood. She would put me in situations time and time again that I would feel bad for her. Saying she can’t afford to buy me a pair of shoes because my father wasn’t paying the child support. So she would tell me to ask my dad. I heard that a lot in my childhood. “Ask dad”. I wish I never felt bad for her being poor. It’s not only the fact that my dad did pay for it and she could afford it, rather the fact that she thought the money she got for child support was deserved. It wasn’t. Not a dime was spent on me and most of my clothes and shoes from age 5 were bought from my dad. Furthermore my mother knew my sister hated my dad more than I did and she used that to her advantage. Mom would buy things for my sister and not me, and her excuse was that my dad loved me more so I should take advantage of that. So my sister stopped asking my dad for things and I was forced to, leading me to believe the reason for this was that my dad didn’t want to buy things for my sister. Which slowly evolved into my dad doesn’t love my sister. Besides the money, the thing that kills me is that he was there for maybe three days when I saw him and he would buy me a pair of shoes that he would never see me wear. He missed seeing his son grow up. He’s a good man and he should never have had to say to me wow you’ve grown. Because I wish he was there everyday to see it.

I’ve cried too many times feeling bad for my dad and what I did to him, but he never knew how sorry I was because I never told him. Because I didn’t want him to know that I ever thought anything bad about him. Ill never talk to my mother again because of what she did to me, but we can’t change the past so I have to look towards today. I’m not going to live like my mother, because I’ve realized that my past won’t change and if I dwell on it. I can blame her all day but it won’t pay my bills. But the most important thing I’ve learned from my childhood, and perhaps more people should appreciate is when you want to do something; you need to do it for yourself and nobody else.

Mikey
Chicago, Illinois

 

 


 

 

My life feels overwhelming. I feel sorry for younger kids. School is stressful and always will be. There're the pressures of succeeding and getting good grades to get to the good college to get the high-paying job. But it doesn't end at grades. You need to be broad-minded and open-minded for a college to love you. To accomplish that, you do extra-curricular activities such as play an instrument or volunteer at the hospital or nursing home. To think "beyond the end of your nose," you do charity events, travel, go to museums, and build houses for the less fortunate. Also, knowing world events and events with your government and country is essential in broadening your mind. There is pressure to be an intellectual genius as well as a caring student that colleges want at their schools. I think at this time in our lives we are also supposed to be discovering who we really ARE. Somebody, tell me when, please. When can I not be preparing for later?

--Nicholas

 

 


 

 

“Inch by inch;
Row by row,
I’m going to make
This garden grow.”

I think this is from a line in a song. My mother used to always sing it when she did chores. I like it because it makes me remember how determined she was about always making life better. She knew nothing happened all at once. It takes effort. And important things happen a little at a time. And things don’t always show while they’re growing. My mother was a wise woman. We didn’t have a yard or a garden, but we have a pretty terrific family. And now I think I know what she meant. I miss my mother a lot. I wish she was around to read this.

--Anna

 

 


 

 

I’ve read some of these writings and these are some things I think:


I think it is revealing how much teenagers think about life and care about what happens in the next generation.
I think that mothers don't realize how much their young daughters or sons care about the world they live in today. Even fathers too.
I think that, too often, mothers and daughters are not talking to each other enough because of exhaustion from school and friends.
Fathers do not want to be controlled or accept opinions from their children- even young adult children.
And on top of all that, we young people of this generation we are exposed to many different knowledge and we think we know more than our parents. ( No child nor parent wants to listen to each other)
And this is the point you are trying to teach the world that parents are not listening to their children.

I think all the stories touches one's heart.

I like the fact that these stories here are from all kind of young adult ( rich, poor, oppressed by political or religions purpose or just life in general)
I can go on talking about these wonderful stories. I hope you will understand my writing as I am working on becoming a good writer.

--Part of an essay written by a student new to America

 

 


 



Some Things I Hope and Want


I hope there are no wars, no fights, no drugs, no violence.

I hope that my family and I could find a safe life as immigrants.

I hope that every person in the world could live in peace.

I hope that every person is treated fairly, not by their skin color, but by how intelligent they are.

I hope that white people, black people, Chinese people, Indian people, Latino people could all live in peace and just be able to BE together

I hope there are no more terrorist attacks like September 11 that destroy buildings and make the victim’s families suffer.

I hope every child gets a chance to study and be something.

I just hope that everyone is treated fairly and could live in peace. Even animals.

My biggest dream is to be like Mahatma Ghandi, to just live in peace. The best dream for the future is that everyone should live together like Martin Luther king Jr. said.

Why do I worry so much about my dreams? I worry about my whole life. My dream is that everyone could just live in peace.

I am afraid that I am going to get killed by violence.

I am also afraid that my family and me might have to leave the country because we are immigrants.

I worry about my parents losing their jobs.

I am concerned about my future. Since there is racism in some schools, I am concerned about my education and getting a successful future. So I have apprehension about my financial life.

I see other teens that have stress joining gangs and using drugs and doing bad things, and I am worried that if I have a lot of stress I might turn out to be like them.


I have some other dreams too. I want to be a pilot and I want to spend more time with my family.

I want to study at Harvard University and graduate from there. Then I want to be the best pilot to ever drive a plane.

I want no racism.

I want to have a business so I can make money and save for my children to come.

I want to be an excellent role model for my kids.

I want to be the richest guy in the world like Bill Gates.

I want to be popular.

I want to be joyful with my family.

I want to be something in my life.

I have a lot of concerns about my life, like a lot of us do. I deal with them and I will never give up.

I am 13. No one ever asked me to talk about this stuff before.

My name is Rinalda and I used to be from Mexico.

 

 


 


Appreciate my Life

Vs. 1
All I want is to sleep at night
Without thinking about my life tonight
These rumors in the air are like shootings of a flare
Its blinds me scared I'm thinking "Who's over there?"
I'm losing all my sleep my thoughts are running deep
I'm lying in my bed and counting endless sheep
While the pillows drenched with every drop of sweat
Like a sinner pardoned, but still yet to repent
These lines on my face getting thicker by the hour
Losing my self when my weakness is my power
Thinking myself to my own self-conceding
Believing the hype when I know I've been cheated
Myself my home is bi-cultural intertwined
I've been living and complaining doped up on red wine
My lungs filled with air I can't take this whole race thing!
It's driving me to face my own self-complaining
I'm facing days in the same old ways
And checking my birthday to see a different sounding name

Vs. 2
Your childhood's like this when you're just a little kid
They treat you like your last name is Bin Laden
They throw your back against the walls and shoved in bathroom stalls
Your family feels the pain when you ignore their birthday calls
I've stumbled to my room and shut the door in a blaze
People ticked me off when they told me it's a phase
Is it true you can't marry unless it's arranged?
And that you all worship elephants and snakes?
No my friends I believe in Jesus Christ
The one who died for us the one who gave his life
The one who placed his head in a crown full of thorns
Awoke the sleeping souls from night until the morn
Soldiers live once they die tragic deaths
I've died twenty times since I've walked my baby steps
Body's broken and banged my mom's eyes full of tears
She wiped my fears while spit coated my left ear

Vs 3.
I lived out the city but I'll tell you this
Neighborhoods can change when new neighbors move in
White Houses and Presidents; First Ladies reside
Watching their green grass compounding every night
Waiting to be seen on the covers of magazine
And living in fantasies they could never achieve
But then a brown seed came decided to move in
The flowers that grew were different colored skin
The pots and soil were starting to get too small
Roots burst into Indians shopping in the malls
Leaves were trimmed accents remain the same
Our talk sounds different but we're one in the same
The gardens grew flowers bloomed without any class
Drive cabs with hands and handled food stands
But flowers kept blooming and I'll tell you again
We'll all move ahead when we stand together as friends

 

 


 

 

Why

So why should this be written, and, more importantly, why should it be read by adults and parents? Because it is happening. Life and everything that comes with it is happening, and no one, especially in this day and age, can shield or hide it from the kids. But parents can accept it. And they can understand it. They can do something constructive about it with their kids.

History has shown that silence solves nothing and perpetuates the worst. A new thought process is in order. A change in cognitive thinking is needed. Instead of saying that kids are too young to understand, realize they are too smart to be pushed aside and labeled as incompetent. Kids understand, or at the very least they see. They internalize and they stress as much as any adult did and does.

The defining factor that separates a kid from an adult is not the event; it is the life-experience that follows and the reassurance that problems do get solved and life does go on. They need a guide, not a guard. They need to be taught by a mentor and confidant, not condescended to. If we were to label a child by her lack of experiences, then, in some ways, we are all kids.

Adults and parents have learned how imperative it is to have a close friend or a more experienced peer to vent to, bounce ideas off of, and receive advice from. Adults actively choose a support network of people who listen, accept, believe and don’t judge. So let’s expand that. In the spirit of globalization, let’s diversify. Let’s merge generations and stop mistakes needlessly repeated. How, you ask? Let’s talk.

A portion of an essay written by Nickee C.

 

 


 


In My Mother’s Drawer

My mom and I have not had the best of relationships. I have been mad at her a lot. And I guess, her too. But right now I’m really feeling strange.

This is not really a story. It’s just about something I found. See, my mom is sick. And actually, right now she’s in the hospital. She told me to bring her one of her own nightgowns because she can’t stand sleeping in those scratchy things they give you in the hospital that tie in the back. She also told me to go in her underwear drawer (yuck!) and bring her some of that stuff too. So I said OK and started to do it. I’d never actually been in her stuff before -- except when I was a kid and used to go in her jewelry box and play dress up. So anyway, I go in there and the weirdest thing happens. I sort of want to stay. I look around in her drawers and I’m kind of grossed out, but I also want to keep looking.

In the bottom of the drawer where her nightgowns are there are a bunch of envelopes. Some are white and long and look like business, and some are square and colored. You know the Hallmark kind- the ones for the cards and stuff. So I open this green one and read the card inside and I can’t believe she saved it. My sister gave it to her about a hundred years ago. It’s the kind of card that’s like a story- it just keeps opening up. I started opening it and couldn’t stop. It’s called “A Seedling’s Story” and here’s what it says:

“One springtime day, a tiny seed was released from its mother tree and gently floated down to the ground, landing in just the right spot that the mother tree had chosen. Earth embraced the seed, and with the magical help of the sun and the rain, it quickly sprouted up into a tender green seedling Each day, through the wind, the mother tree shared with the seedling all her most important secrets, and as the days passed, the seedling grew bigger and stronger, soon becoming a graceful young sapling.

“Season followed season and the mother tree guided and nurtured the sapling until one day she realized what a special tree her sapling had grown to become. Still today the two talk across the breeze, and if you listen very carefully, you can hear the young tree whisper. “Thank you, Mother, for teaching me about life and love and for encouraging me to go my own way and reach for the sky. Happy Mother’s Day.”

Wow. I think I’ll bring that old card to her in the hospital with her nightgown. Maybe I’ll buy one of my own in that gift shop downstairs.

 

 



 

Pressures

Each moment I must get a task done whether it be chores, homework, or sports. If the deadlines can't be met, then I have to face the consequences; get grounded, do extra laps, or get a bad grade. It takes a great deal of time and effort to do these activities. During these times, I could only hope for a holiday to come by.

With the amount of effort and time I use to do these tasks, I barely have time to just chill. I usually drop some plans of my buddies, in order to finish the many projects I get from school. I wish I could go with some of my friends to that basketball game, or go to McDonalds for some fries. But I have to use my time wisely to finish my duties.

Each day, each hour, and each second; my life seem to be filled with expectations to be the best student, the best athlete, the good son, or the good friend. In the areas of academics and extra curricular activities, I wish I could tell you all the deadlines that I have to meet with each day.  I know I live in America now, but should a kid really have this much pressure?

--Anonymous

 

 



 

Family Pressure... and more

I have family pressure which can be just as tough to deal with as peer pressure. When I go home, I have to live up to my parents' expectations, and I don't complain because I believe that their expectations are the least I can do for all the things they do for me. However, sometimes living up to expectations isn't always easy and it can cause stressful times. My expectations range from grades to different things, which not only include my own family but my religion, culture and everything else that represents me.

Sometimes if I do get something like a 96%, my family will say, "Where is the other 4%?"' Besides what you have to deal with outside of school, there is the whole life you have inside of it too, which includes grades, friends, peers, popularity and much more that happens inside of high school. Life isn't as simple as we make it out to seem for the average teen in America. I wish you all knew ...   it's hard to be a teen in the world today.

 

 




My Journey from Ethiopia to Israel to United States and back to Ethiopia
Part one of my story:

I was born in Ethiopia but did not live there long enough to have many memories of life there. I was a small child when my mother made the decision to leave Ethiopia in order to make the long journey through the Sudan.

Even though I was a small child when we started the journey, it took so long that I do remember a lot from this lengthy and life-threatening experience.

My family was one of few that were lucky enough to make it to the border of Sudan. Unfortunately, in Sudan things were not much better since we had to wait in a refugee camp for seven months before the Israeli government brought us to Israel. Once in Israel we had to go through years of adjustments before we established a sense of home and belonging.

Growing up in Israel, I always dreamt of returning to Ethiopia as a physician and somehow make a difference there.

Even though there were many times I felt my dreams were impossible to accomplish, when I graduated from high school I decided to do my army service in a hospital to get more exposure to the medical field. By the time I finished my service I was determined to pursue my dream of becoming a physician.

After I finished my service, I made the decision of moving to the United States because I knew that there I would have more opportunities in the medical field. The decision of moving to the United States was extremely hard to make, because I had to leave my family and friends and move to an unfamiliar place and culture-- and in addition learn a new language. However, knowing what I left behind made me more motivated and determined to succeed and achieve the goals I have set for myself.

Once in the United States I started in a community college and three years later I was lucky enough to then go to U.C Berkeley.

My story to be continued…

Tigest M., Ethiopia, Israel, US.

 

 


 



One Interactor's fight against child rape in South Africa's
townships became the story of her life.

"I have learnt that no matter how old you are, the impossible is achievable...I firmly believe that the life of one person, if helped, can change the course of the world, as you never know who that one little girl or boy could be."
— Interactor Ashley Kaimowitz (1985-2005) Sea Point, South Africa


Thank you to Sharon Cyr of Rotary International for giving us permission to share this story written by Janessa Goldbeck in The Rotarian.

In the poverty-stricken township of Khayelitsha, just outside Cape Town, South Africa, an estimated one in every three girls is raped by age 21. After HIV/AIDS, rape is South Africa's largest epidemic, largely because of a myth that sexual intercourse with a virgin can cure AIDS. Children are especially vulnerable, but they have few resources to protect them.

Ashley Kaimowitz was just 16 years old when she learned of the atrocities occurring in the township a few miles from her affluent Cape Town suburb. As secretary of the Herzlia High School Interact Club, sponsored by the Rotary Club of Sea Point, South Africa, Kaimowitz and her fellow officers were invited to visit the Nonceba Family Counselling Centre, which provides rape crisis services for children in Khayelitsha. Local resident Nocawe Mankayi established the center in 1998 to fight child rape in the community. Click here to read more.

 

 


 


Changes in my life

My parents' divorce affected me greatly. It was a dramatic change in life.  My father fled my family, we went broke, and I had no direction.  I was very close to my father and his leaving made a huge hole in my life.

During my freshman and sophomore years, I lived a very lavish lifestyle, but then my life flipped upside down.  I still woke up every day, went to school, and saw the same faces, but nothing was really the same--except for the teachers who continually influenced me to keep on going and stay on track.   School was not easy for me, but I am sharing these personal feelings with you because I decided to let everyone know what a wonderful place a high school can be.  

I've graduated now, and moved to another state and am living with a family there.   I attend Community College now.   Recently I was able too see my father and reflected a lot on my life.  After giving the last several years a lot of thought, I just want to say THANK YOU to some of my family and everybody at my first high school for being there for me when I really needed you --   especially my wonderful teachers who had so much confidence in me. It really made a difference.   I'm OK.   Thanks.

Jason, age 19, California California

 

 


 

 

Careers Hong Kong

In order to understand my future, you would have to take a look at my father's past.  

Living in a small island near Hong Kong, my father and his family were extremely poor.   With eight other siblings, my father's parents had come to accept that their children were not going to have a luxurious, or even average, future.   As impossible as it seemed, my father beat the odds; he worked hard in school and eventually immigrated to the United States for college.   However, dreams come true, not free; my father had to work every hour of his free time in order to pay off his tuition.   He didn't go out to parties, he didn't go out to games, he didn't even go out to eat--every night he had homemade chicken and lettuce.   Many people considered it a miracle that he had time to meet my mother.

Today, he's not only a doctor, but a professor as well as a deacon in my church, a Sunday school teacher, a sought-after speaker, a founder of a Christian magazine, a medical researcher, and a great father.   Although extremely proud of him, I have always felt that his success had, in a way, predetermined my future.   I mean, how could I compete with such a successful doctor?   Not wanting to live in my father's shadow, I decided that my future career would be anything but medical.  

Growing up in such a fortunate lifestyle helped shape my perception of career possibilities.   Because I was so used to luxury, I thought that a well-paid job was necessary.   Not only that, but my Chinese culture also played a part in my need for success--my parents wanted successful children who they could brag about: a doctor, a lawyer, or a businessman.   Since I had long banished the idea of becoming a doctor, and I had never found business appealing, I decided that being a lawyer was the best route.  

However, as I entered my high school years, I found myself being drawn toward science and its ability to explain humans and the way we think, eat, move, and function.   My newfound passion for science led me to seriously re-evaluate my reasons for not wanting to go into medicine.   I knew it was ridiculous to ignore my passion just because I feared failure, but I also knew that it would be difficult to even come close to my father's success.

Then, this past summer I went to Costa Rica to volunteer my services in a poverty-stricken village.   Although I went there to teach students about English, my students actually taught me about something more profound: my future.   Seeing their living conditions made me realize what I wanted to do in the future.   I also came to realize what made my dad successful .   It wasn't the many titles he held that distinguished him, but the lives that he touched.  

I have come to realize the importance of coloring my future, not with gold, but with a deeper hue of real values.   Instead of wanting to become a famous and wealthy doctor, my dream is to go to third-world countries and work in the health care system caring for the ill and needy.   The reward I now seek is not one of selfish pleasure, but instead the pleasure of knowing that kids and families will have better lives, thanks to the knowledge I have gained from my education.   I do not want to become the next American Idol, be featured in MTV Cribs, or have my own apprentice.   My future is no longer about a vapid image of glory or surpassing anyone else's standards of success.   Instead, it's about helping people live hygienic lives and realize that they can be anything they want to be.

Samantha W.T., age 18

 

 



Dedication

I decided to dedicate my Bat Mitzvah to my Grandpa. Unfortunately he passed away two years ago. My Grandpa was a very special person. “What’s not to like?” he would always say. That’s the way I describe him. I am very happy that he lived to be so old and that I got to meet him.

I miss his company at dinner and his frequent phone calls. I miss him tapping his cane, and when he would squeeze my cheeks. But I know he wouldn’t want me or my family to be sad and cry, he always wanted everyone to be happy.

I have always looked forward to him seeing me become a Bat Mitzvah, but he got sick and passed away. I know that there is always a reason for everything and that God did the right thing to let him die. If he wouldn’t have died his health might have caused him pain and unhappiness. Now he is in heaven in peace and watching over my family and me with joy and pride.

Lisa, age 13, St. Louis, Mo. St. Louis

 

 


 

 

Dear Parents: A Story for Parents to Read

We ask the impossible. I am 17 years old and I realize this. You're in a hard place, but so are we. We want parents and adults to be available at all times to listen to us about whatever we feel like talking about. We also want you to leave us alone if we come home exhausted and not in the mood to talk and just wanting to be alone. We want you to give us advice if you have it, but really we want to just be acknowledged, listened to, and comforted, that a solution will come and that we will be capable of carrying it out.

We ask this because we sometimes feel like the world is putting too much pressure on us all at once. What do we do when a friend calls us late at night, saying that she’s had a couple drinks and is driving around trying to get more? Scold her and go back to bed? Call the police? Her parents? Spend the night worrying that taking action will make her mad- and not taking action could make us partly responsible if something happens to her?

Maybe our parents won’t know what to do either, and can only sympathize with our tough situation and remind us that we’re not responsible for someone else’s actions. At least then we won’t feel so alone anymore, though. Then we have someone to talk to, to tell about the friend’s history of getting in trouble and our worries that this could be a cry for help. Then we have a partner beside us to keep us from dealing with such a big situation by ourselves.

Teenagers realize that part of “growing up” is doing lots of things along the way that later don’t seem quite so wise or praiseworthy. We need parents and adults to listen, to see our actions, and to hear our reasoning. We need you to realize that we’re still learning things as we go along, and, unfortunately, the best way to learn the right way to do things is to do them the wrong way, sometimes more than once. Don’t judge us or make us feel guilty all the time (though we realize sometimes we should feel guilty). We can’t learn anything new if we’re constantly terrified of making a mistake.

So, just listen to us. Don’t scare us off by listening to our worries and running off half-cocked to try to fix them. Sometimes we don’t even want action, we just want to be able to rant. As much as we contradict ourselves and switch rapidly between wanting parents to baby us and protect us - and pushing them out of our lives, in the end we just want a safety net, someone to back us up. We want to feel that someone who wants the best for us is there and willing to just sit and listen.

Laura T., age 17, USA

 

 


 


For Parents: Some Advice

This is not exactly a story to tell. But you ask for kids to give some advice to parents and other adults. I’m just one kid from New York who has some advice for parents:

What I wish you all could do is understand how we feel and how hard it is. Instead of always hassling us, cut us some slack. Help us out instead of always being so hard on us and expecting so much. Did you ever think that it might just be too much!

It’s hard to live up to the expectations of parents all the time when you have a lot to deal with, and pressures can really set us off. Sure, we may seem moody, but, trust me, we have a lot on our minds.

Parents should understand since they went through the same things. Remember how it felt to have so much pressure on you? Well, we have more! There’s a lot you guys just don’t know.

Tim, age 15, Manhattan, New York USA New York City

 

 


 


Someone I Admire
Portion of an essay by Yama

Benjamin S. Carson, M.D. is someone I really admire. I was astonished by his accomplishments when I read his autobiography. His parents were divorced when he was thirteen years old, and his mother only attended school until third grade. When he was in fifth grade, Carson’s grades started declining. However, when his mother learned about his grades, he was not allowed to watch television or even go outside until he finished his homework. He was also assigned by his mother to read two books a week and write a book report at the end of the week. As a result, he was at top of his class within a year and graduated with honors from high school. Dr. Carson made medical history in 1987, when he separated a pair of Siamese twins conjoined at the brain. Benjamin S. Carson, M.D. has a wealth of experience, and he is a good person considering his own development of human potential.

 

 


 

 

Soccer, The Keleche Tournament in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan Soccer

The score was one to nothing with five minutes to go. Our team was winning. Although we were all sweating, the cheers and intense smiles of our fans and my coach, made every one of us to play at our best to keep the score the same. I was so excited to be playing in the regional soccer championship game.

I love soccer. I was very little when I started to play soccer. As a young kid, I always dreamed of becoming either a soccer player or a doctor when I grew up. Soccer had always interested me. My outstanding achievement is having gone to finals in the “Keleche tournament” in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. It was a tournament that was held annually among high school teams across the city. Although we got second place in the tournament, the excitement of that day will live on forever in my heart.

I worked hard to make our accomplishment successful. First of all, I attended every practice, so I would be in good shape to help my team succeed in the tournament. After all, practice is the key to success in everything. Secondly, if unpredictable things, such as inclement weather condition occurred, the practice was either canceled or rescheduled. I helped my coach let other players know about the changes, so that they would not miss a practice. Thirdly, I was very friendly with every one of my teammates. I knew that in order to succeed in teamwork, I needed to build very good and positive relationships with my teammates. Most importantly, I helped my team to get into the final game by giving a very good pass to one of my teammates, who scored a goal. By not missing any practice, voluntarily helping my coach, and being fri endly to my teammates, I made the accomplishment possible.

Preparing for the Keleche Tournament was very challenging. Our practices started almost a month before the tournament began. We had practice every day for about two hours. Since I was attending both Afghan and Russian school, I had so much homework to do. Therefore, in order not to miss any practice and finish my schoolwork, I had to wake up early in the morning. Also, I usually took the public bus to practice after school, which sometimes ran late due to traffic. However, I always waited patiently until the bus came to take me to practice. In addition, when the tournament started, we had a game every day. in order to move on, we had to take every game seriously and play each match as well as we could. Therefore, sometimes we did not get enough rest. However, we overcame this obstacle by focusing on our goal of playing in the final. Although I faced some obstacles while preparing for the Keleche Tournament, I had managed to overcome them.

Placing second in the Keleche Tournament had some impact on my self-confidence. I was very proud of myself for playing in the tournament and placing second. I also experienced my parents advise,” In order to achieve something good, you have to work for it; nothing comes easy.” Winning the second place trophy made my parents, school, and community very proud.

Yama

 

 


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