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Dealing with Serious Illness The following letters were written by a young woman with breast cancer. It demonstrates her courage and humor in the face of serious illness. Do you know someone who faces similar struggles? Write to us at whatiwishyouknew@gmail.com
Hi all, I can tell by the number of 'checking in' emails I have been receiving that I am way behind in updating you all on my world and the fight against breast cancer, or as I like to call it, HairWatch '07. Sorry for the delay. I have been a bit mired in treatment and tired of side effects, (and just plain tired), but here is the latest. I have finished 13 out of 16 total chemo treatments. Hard to believe that I am almost finished. I am getting some side effects, like neuropathy (where my hands and feet go numb and tingle) and the fatigue is really kicking in, but my head is covered in peach fuzz and I am sprouting lots of new eyelashes, so that's pretty cool. After chemo I will have my surgery to remove whatever is left (which feels like just about nothing at this point) and then 6-7 weeks of radiation. Hopefully by March I will be through with the bulk of the heavy treatment and will just have the leftover meds to prevent recurrence. I know I usually tell a funny story about something weird that happened to me because of treatment or cancer or whatever, but given that it's so near that most American of holidays, I thought maybe I would share some other thoughts. Now don't get me wrong, cancer and cancer treatment can be a pretty thankless experience at times. It hurts, it's scary, you feel like complete ass from chemo, etc. etc. But (and I know this doesn't sound like crazy, cynical me) I have tons of things to be thankful for right now - some directly related to cancer, and some, just fringe benefit style side effects. Here is a partial list. I am thankful that my cancer was caught early. I am thankful that my tumor has all the markers so I can have medications like herceptin and tamoxifen to keep me healthy for a long time to come. I am thankful that I live whre I do and have access to the best cancer docs in the world, and that I have a job and health insurance so that I can afford the treatments that will save my life. I am thankful that I am a candidate for a lumpectomy and that my surgeon cares about leaving me a pretty pair - cause let's face it, they are spectacular. And finally, I am mostly thankful for having the opportunity to truly know who my friends are, and how many of you there are. It's very easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are ill, and I admit to more of my share of self-pity than I should be allowed, but even on my worst days the little voice in my head won't let me forget how many of you are out there, wishing me well, praying for my health and willing to help me in whatever way I need. And that is the most comforting feeling in the world. I hope that you all have just as many things to be thankful for. Want to comment? Click here Or email us at:
Holiday greetings from the front lines in the war against cancer. I am happy to report that our offensive appears to be paying off and the enemy is in full retreat. Ok, enough war metaphors I think. I have many things to report since my last email, so let's get started, shall we? #1 - Chemo is OVER!!!!!! After 20 treatments I feel positively pickled and at times I was sure that my doctors would kill me before the cancer did, but I survived and I am in the midst of my first chemo free week and feeling pretty good about it. My hair has started to grow back, and I am happy about that, even if I do look like I have male pattern baldness. I wore a pink wig and a tiara to my last treatment and for once enjoyed being stared at. (see attached picture - my apologies for the awful exam gown and lack of glass slippers.) In any case, the chemo has done it's duty because ... #2 - I had a pre-surgery ultrasound and they couldn't find the tumor!!! It's GONE!!!! Well, probably not gone, but small enough now that it's hard to find on the ultrasound. They will need to use the clip they implanted during my biopsy to know where to do my lumpectomy. I couldn't ask for a better result from what were some of the worst months of my life. #3 - My surgery is scheduled for next month. I was hoping to have it done before the holidays but there just isn't time. If all goes as planned I should be up and around in a few days and back to the office soon after. (Who would have thought I would look forward to going back to the office...) #4 - I am now a temporary redhead (see attached). I include this part of the update for those of you who knew me in the 80's and remember how badly I wanted to be Molly Ringwald - thanks to Sondra and Gail for coiffing me! (And yes, my beautiful friends Vanessa and Sue are single...) #5 - The latest recital by the WHQODJYS (We Haven't Quit Our Day Jobs Yet Singers) was a rousing success! I sang I Am Woman with a classmate who is a 20 year survivor of breast cancer, and it was a pretty powerful experience if I say so myself. Someday I will upload all my performances to a website and share them with all of you. My 3 1/2 year old niece was in the audience and has been putting on shows with her Fisher Price Karaoke set ever since. I guess some kids inherit things from their aunts after all. So I think that's all for now. I will be back with an update after surgery. Until then, I plan to enjoy the holidays and let 2007 slip quietly away. It hasn't been all bad, but I am ready to let it go. Bring on '08!! I wish you and yours a happy and HEALTHY new year.
Update - Looks like you are all stuck with me! Surgery itself was a strange experience. I had to have general anesthesia due to my crazy acid reflux cough, and I remember nothing after receiving an IV sedative in the prep room. Probably a good thing since I am told I was singing as they wheeled me down the hall to the operating room. My dad said he couldn't tell exactly what I was singing, but it sounded like a happy song. Oh well, at least I didn't flirt with the doctor like I did under the twilight anesthesia at my endoscopy...(don't laugh, I know some of the things you all have said under sedation...) Needless to say I feel so much lighter now that I might actually be hovering a few inches off the ground. I am a little sore from surgery, but I am so happy to have made it this far with such a good result, that I don't much mind. Thanks again to everyone for their prayers and positive thoughts and energy. It clearly worked, and I am lucky to have you all on my side! I will be in touch again with updates from the radiation front lines. Until then, be well and happy.
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